Children and Stress
Stress is a natural response to the pressures of life. Stress prepares the body to react to stress. As a parent, you probably experience stress from the challenges and demands of work, home, and family life. Children also experience stress. Even though stories, paintings, movies, and TV often show childhood as happy and serene, it isn’t. Childhood is actually full of new experiences that can trigger stress. Even good experiences from birthday parties to visits to the park can be stressful for children.
Why Should I Be Concerned About Stress in Children
Stress can be good as well as bad. It can be a burst of energy that helps us do our best and enjoy life more. But too much stress can make children cranky, unhappy, and even ill. Knowing about stress and its effects can help you:
- recognize sources of stress in your child's life, and deal effectively with those that cause harm.
- teach your child to manage stress now and for a lifetime.
- understand your child better by seeing the world from your child's point of view.
What happens to the body when a Child gets stressed?
- muscles tighten to prepare for actions
- pupils dilate to sharpen vision
- the skin turns pale as blood is diverted to muscles and brain
- digestion slows to let the body concentrate its energy on the situation at hand
- breathing quickens to bring more oxygen to the blood
- the heart beat quickens to supply blood faster, and
- sugar flows into the bloodstream for a quick burst of power.
Some Signs of Harmful Stress in Children
- head aches, stomach aches
- trembling, nervous ticks
- teeth grinding or complaints of a sore jaw
- rise in accident-proneness
- frequent urination or a sudden bedwetting problem
- crankiness, laziness
- anxiety, nervousness
- poor eating habits
- excessive TV watching
- sleeping problems, nightmares
How to Help Your Child
- Teach your child that the following are signs of stress:
- a pounding heart
- fast breathing
- butterflies in the stomach
- Help your child identify the cause of the stress: an upcoming quiz, piano recital, friend moving away, a fight with a friend?
- Encourage your child to work out a plan to deal with the cause of the stress. Do not take over for them! Encourage them to give it a try even if you disagree with the plan. Talk about the plan afterward. Praise the effort. Discuss other ways the problem might have been handled.
Some Sources of Stress for Children
Situations
At Home
Parents
Separation or Divorce
A
new Step-Parent
Moving
A
new Sister or Brother
Death
of a Loved One
Your
Own Stresses
Hospitalization
School
or Pre-School
Either
Feeling or Being Different from Peers
Competition
A
Complex Changing World
Rapid
Change in Physical, Emotional, Social, and Intellectual Development.
Make Stress Reduction a Family Goal
- Try exercising together but make sure it is moderate and "do able" for the youngest child. Go for a short bike ride, walk, or hike on a regular basis. Right after supper chores is an excellent time. Exercising together can be fun - and can strengthen communication and family ties.
- Have a quiet hour at least once a week! You will be surprised what happens when you turn the TV off one hour before bed time! Scheduling a time for silence with no TV, stereos, video or computer games, or radio gives family members an opportunity to interact with each other. People can write in journals, read, or simply daydream.
- Get enough rest. Weariness can make anyone feel stress. A tired child is often a cranky child. A tired parent is often an inpatient parent.
- Eat Right. Provide adequate servings from the four food groups every day.
Help your Child Become a Flexible and Confident Adult
When you unconditionally love your child, you can help them in many ways on her or his journey to adulthood:
- Encourage the ability to welcome change, not to fear it. Provide a range of experiences and activities as your child grows.
- Leave time for daydreams and unstructured play. Free time is essential for emotional growth and good mental health.
- Applaud success in all areas - not just school or sports. Praise the ability to make friends, express feelings, do chores, do the right thing, etc.
- It is good to have expectations for your child. Set goals within a child's reach. Make them success oriented. This develops a feeling of competence and confidence. Remember that a child is not a miniature adult. Do not demand perfection, or compare one child to another.
Seek Help for Your Child
If stress becomes more than you, he, or she can handle, seek help. You can contact your child's school, the local Canadian Mental Health Association, your family doctor, a family therapist, a parent support hotline, The Ministry of Health, your clergy, priest minister or rabbi, and get more information from the library or internet.