If you find the war in Ukraine disturbing and painful, you are not alone. As compassionate, caring individuals, we hurt when you see others hurt. Empathy is critical to our emotional health and to the health of our relationships and communities. It prompts us to help one another, and it supports our collective survival. Empathy and compassion are necessary qualities, yet if we are constantly bombarded with images of suffering, it can impact us on a deep, emotional level.
Our empathy is provoked when we hear of others’ struggles, adversity, and pain. Typically, we hear these stories from those close to us; family, friends, neighbours, and co-workers. Hearing one another’s struggles prompts us to offer support, encouragement, and sometimes practical assistance. We, in turn, receive help and support when we are in need.
Occasionally we hear of a stranger’s tragedy through the news or word of mouth. In the past, these stories were rare. The news touched briefly on individual tragedy, then it was back to the weather. The facts of wars, natural disasters, and multiple killings were reported without commentary or context. In this manner, and with no relationship to the people involved, our empathy was only momentarily provoked.
With the growing sophistication of the news and social media, the stories of strangers are brought to life in real time. Social media gives us direct access to victims of tragedy. We hear from them directly, we see their pain, and the pain of their loved ones. We are asked to help, either through lobbying, protesting, or donating money. These changes have created a better, more compassionate, and socially responsible world, but they have also increased our exposure to traumatic events. These changes also create compassion overload.
Some people deal with emotional overload by tuning out and not paying attention to what’s going on. Some even go so far as to deny the suffering of others, calling traumatic stories a hoax. Yet many more people feel a moral and social responsibility to stay informed, even if it’s unpleasant, even if it hurts. Our compassion in the face of so much suffering can lead to feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. Yet there is so much evidence that collectively, we are not powerless.
If you have been following the news on the invasion of Ukraine, you saw that governments around the world responded to our collective caring. The increasing sanctions on Russia are the direct result of our collective concern. We make a difference when we show we care and when we get involved. It’s important to believe that you can and do make a difference.
It’s also important to allow yourself to feel the sadness. Acknowledge it, then let it pass. Don’t hang on to it or dwell on it. It may be helpful to learn about mindfulness. In mindfulness practice, you observe your feelings and thoughts, without attachment or judgment. You can then learn to move through your pain without getting stuck.
If your pain and sadness over Ukraine and other world events is interfering with your life, do not suffer in silence. Working through your emotions with a compassionate, caring counsellor or friend can help you regain your equilibrium.
As painful as it is to watch what’s happening in Ukraine, it is uplifting to see the world join together to ostracize and consequence Russia for its actions. We are evolving, with the help of responsible journalism and social media, to becoming a people who no longer turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. And that’s a good thing.
Jenny DeReis, MC Psych, RCC
Walmsley EFAP