Self-Care includes Community Care – Part 2
Our previous blog covered the idea that self-care is more than just taking care of our bodies, pampering ourselves, and doing extracurricular activities. Self-care is an awareness of what makes us happy and keeps our cup full; in other words, knowing when to step back from the outside world and when to engage. Knowing how the outside world affects us negatively and when it helps fill our cup is critical. For example, people who enjoy sports get a sense of physical health and belonging to a team. If that team does not fulfill them, yet they love basketball and persist to play , they may become confused around why the “joy of sport” is not fulfilling to them. Self-care is about knowing ourselves well enough to make choices to ensure our cup is never empty as well as understanding when to reach out for help and give help. We must know ourselves well enough so that we can reap the full benefits of community care.
So what is community care? Community care is that part of us that becomes fulfilled through belonging, whether that is with a group of friends, church, hiking groups, rock collectors, etc. It is being a part of a community. Our identity stretches further than just ourselves; it comes from our families, culture, city, and country we live in. This is why self-care includes community care: they are simultaneously a part of us at all times.
In the last article we discussed how our individualistic culture has separated us from this collective understanding. We do not exist on our own, nor can we heal alone. No person is an island. Community care is where we find ourselves and where we get to understand ourselves in relation to others. It is also w here we learn to ask for help. For instance, abandonment is a common emotional challenge many of us go through. That feeling of being disposable, uncared for, and not good enough cannot change simply by telling ourselves the opposite. We need someone to demonstrate that they do care for us, that we are enough, and that we are worthy. The more we experience that in community groups, at work, through friends and lovers, the more we heal and grow.
As we grow up, we learn about ourselves through others. As our sense of self is established, we create a sense of self care for ourselves and the community we are a part of. This process can be a beautiful symbiosis, like the other beautiful spectrums of community care. When we recognize we are capable of giving help like the “pay it forward” in drive thrus for complete strangers within our community, when a friend calls and needs to talk and we are there to listen, when there is an accident and you know how to help with the situation, it is an opportunity for growth and development. Charity and non-profit work are a large part of community care as well. I am sure you can think of many more.
Most of this may seem like common sense to some, but for others who find themselves within a world of anxiety, depression, or chronic stress, they may find staying connected very difficult. The challenge I am proposing is for us all not to give up on each other. To remember to contemplate when you need to reach out for help and when you can offer help. Through that process our communities and selves grow stronger.
Laurel Collins, MA Indigenous Studies
Walmsley EFAP