March is Women’s History Month, which is a perfect opportunity to examine some of the difficulties and challenges women face, specifically in the world of mental health. Accessing a counsellor can be difficult for anyone, but there are specific challenges women may encounter, including stigma, indifference, and wrongful assumptions about their motivations.
For women, unfortunately there is still a strong perception that counselling is for the bigger crises in life, thus many women minimize their experiences and think their emotional and psychological stress does not need any kind of support. However, this leaves many not recognizing how much impact their own emotional stress affects them. We also still live under the perceived notion that feelings are weak; to ask for help means you are unable to deal with your own issues. Both of these notions are false and lead many women to not ask for help. We would think that women, generally being more “innately emotional”, would not feel this stigma. No one wants to feel weak. Until we address this, many women today do not recognize when to ask for help.
Deprioritizing their own mental health is the number one barrier to accessing counselling services for women. Many women become busy with their jobs, their partners, their kids, that their own self fades away. Their work/family schedule makes time for reflecting upon oneself and one’s needs is rare, if it happens at all. Many women, when asked “what makes you happy?” look like a deer caught in the headlights: stunned, somewhat fearful and in a certain state of shock. Instead of this being an easy question, one that lightens conversation, this question often adds stress, potentially bringing to light how little they have thought of themselves and considered this question.
Additionally, stress in general can also be a barrier to accessing counselling support. When we are experiencing a lot of stress our emotional survival brain takes over and our rational reasoning centers go offline. This means remembering sessions, or even remembering to book a session can be problematic. And if a stressful life is the normal experience for a woman, she may not recognize that she needs help.
Although it can be difficult, reaching out for help is important. Just like on an airplane, they remind you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first in the event of a crisis, even over your friends or family. This is a vital rule, and one that will help with women’s mental, emotional and physical wellness and daily happiness levels. Most importantly, it will help them recognize when you need help and be comfortable asking for such, because you are worth it.
Laurel Collins, MA in Indigenous Studies
Walmsley EFAP